1983 - Wrong Number

Finally... the kind of story eveyone likes... a short one... in fact, from what I heard... a tiny, little one...

1983 – Wrong Number

“Larry? I’ve got a call. She says it’s your wife. Should I put it through?”

“Why would she be calling me? Uhh… Sure, Shirley. Put ‘er through.” A click and a new voice came on the line.

“Larry, is this you?”

“Yeah?”

“You bastard! If you think you can just walk out and I won’t care you are 100% wrong! You suck!” I was in shock as the friendly female voice suddenly turned vicious. “Do you have any consideration at all for me… or your kids? I don’t know how you can think you can spend the night with another woman and I won’t notice! I don’t know how she can stand you, anyway! You’re a lousy lover with a tiny little dick, which is appropriate ‘cause you are such a little dick anyway. If you think…”

“Excuse me?” I tried to break into her rant. The voice didn’t sound familiar and certainly was not my wife.

“…you can buy jewelry for her and take her on your supposed business trips without me noticing… you… I pay the damn bills! What kind of an idiot are you that you would try…”

“Uhh, excuse me, but…”

“…to get away with these kinds of bills for hotels in town and jewelry shop that I’ve never even been to! And what the hell were you doing in a TJ motel? I pay the stupid credit cards! What…”

“Excuse me, hello?”

A pause… “Hello? Is this Larry?” her voice was much quieter and uncertain.

“Yes, I’m Larry, but… What Larry are you calling?”

“I’m calling for Larry Doe (real person, not his name). Did I get the wrong number?” The voice was even quieter. I’m sure at this point she didn’t recognize my voice any more than I recognized hers.

“Ahh, I think I saw him this morning, hold on and I’ll transfer…” A dial tone sounded in my ear. I now knew a lot more about Larry Doe than I wanted to and, although I may have been a bit surprised…

She may have been quite-a-bit more embarrassed.