1960 - Young Love

I don’t remember ever going through a period of not liking girls. They have always been alluring, mysterious, good smelling and nice to hold. My very first attractant was my cousin Terri’s cousin on her mother’s side and so unrelated to me. At the age of 6 I fell in love with Judy and wrote her letters for a year until we grew apart or, in reality a couple of 6-year olds were attracted by something (at 6 – anything) else and she stopped writing. Last I heard and this was actually about 6-months ago, she was doing just fine without me.


1960 – Young Love

She was young and lovely. Long eyelashes on pretty blue eyes. Long Blonde hair, straight with bangs across the front. Thin and svelte and just like I liked ‘em…9-years old…just like me.

Elizabeth lived upstairs from my cousins and their parents with her sister and her parents. I think she had brothers but they were too young to be of any interest and Elizabeth took all of my attention…that was just fine with me. At the tender age of nine I was head-over-heels and no one else mattered! Her family had recently moved to Winthrop Harbor and the next school year would find her in my class. I was on clouds as I walked her home after school every day going the 3-blocks out of my way to carry her books and hang on her every word. Although our hands were intertwined every afternoon on our walk home she refused to pay any attention to me during the school day, frequently chasing me away or kicking me in the shins when I hung around too much with her and her girlfriends. Although a boy paying so much attention at this early age, when her girlfriends were not around, evidently embarrassed her, we were always together. This romance lasted several months during which we both had our first romantic kiss after which we confessed our love for each other and hugged for several minutes. We were sure we were unseen but, as it turned out, hiding in front of a basement window that opened up to the downstairs apartment kitchen wasn’t a very good hiding place. My cousin upon witnessing this act started asking me about it as soon as I entered the house. My cousin, Terri, was a whole year older and was in complete support of our romance.

Eventually Elizabeth and I grew apart and by 5th grade she was no longer acknowledging my existence. In high school we rode the same school bus but, by that point, she refused to even say hello in return of my, admittedly, infrequent greetings.

But then, there were so many more…in my imagination. Or as Emo Phillips said: “I’m a great lover…I’ll bet.”

Mostly I was too shy to let the girls to whom I was attracted know anything about my attraction and although I had no problem in a simple social situation, a hint of anything romantic was way beyond my self-motivational powers. Although I had a couple of innocent encounters in grade school I didn’t have anything close to success with girls until high school.

My freshman year mom arranged for me to take my dance exhibition partner, Terry, on my first actual date. This was arranged immediately after my turning 15…mom may have been pushing me…d’ya think? We went to the Z-B Homecoming Game. When I picked her up her dad had a dozen questions to ask me regarding my intentions and what & where we would be this evening. As it turned out the question session and the actual questions had been rehearsed and arranged by the 2-dads the previous Saturday as they sat together at the usual Saturday evening Moose Club Dance laughing heartily and long at my imagined discomfort. As this date was arranged between the two sets of parents neither of us actually considered it as a serious date which may be why she begged off going to the dance…it could also be because she thought I would ask her to dance. Terry was, and still is, more than capable of holding her own in conversation and remains a lovely lady and still easy on the eyes…there was simply no attraction there in either direction. As ballroom dance exhibitionists she may have felt we would be expected to dance in the manner we had been taught to dance together. In reality that may not have been very likely as mom put me in plenty of situations where people would watch me dance…I really didn’t relish this attention so I would have been fine with twisting or doing any of the other fad-dances of the time. Regardless, we didn’t attend the dance. To make this up to her I asked her to a movie: West Side Story. To this day any of that movie’s soundtrack brings back fond memories…although not of the date. Despite the second date there really was no attraction between us and we didn’t try this again.

During my sophomore year I met Marilyn and, again, I fell head over heels. She quickly became a good friend and was the girl my best friend, Robin, and I would argue over those rare times we had any disagreement at all. To this day she remains a close friend and may very well be my longest relationship outside my family. Marilyn was lovely with dark hair and absolutely dreamy eyes that one could fall into at a moments notice. She had a little sexy overbite and what my mom called a “bedroom” voice, which was low, deep (female deep) and breathless alto. She was shaped exactly the way a woman should be shaped and was affectionate and caring.

At 16 I dated Monique, another exhibition partner, for a short time but that didn’t work at all due to an age difference of 4-years – she my elder. She was 20 and had graduated from Waukegan High the previous year. She was obviously my elder but for some reason was attracted to me. Monique was, shall we say, very well endowed and used this trait to its best advantage dressing what could be called conservatively, except the tightness of her garments accentuated her attributes to the distraction of many a male eye. This relationship ultimately fell apart because she expected a bit more experience than a junior, particularly this junior classman, had undergone. Although I have always been interested in women I was a slow starter when it came to some adult relationships. I tell myself this is because I preferred to perfect appreciation of the appetizer before proceeding to the entrée but in reality I was simply scared of what I didn’t know. I admit the appetizer is still my favorite part of that particular banquet.

That year I met Debbie. Marilyn introduced us. Debbie and Marilyn were freshmen at school. Debbie was cute – I can’t think of another way to describe what I thought of her at the time although my emotional connection was much greater than “cute.” Debbie was the first girl I contemplated marrying. She was, as I said, cute but there was certainly more to her that just “cute.” Debbie, for our ages, was a loving and caring partner. She dressed well and acted impeccably. Although the word “impeccable” rarely brings to mind the word “fun” but Debbie was all of that as well. That year we attended the junior prom together. (See: 1966 – A Gay Old Time) In the summer she accompanied me to the beach to watch me surf or we dated at movies and dances for most of a year…again, I was head-over-heels…unfortunately she was also attractive to a good friend, fellow surfer and the guitarist in our band. The details will be left for your imagination. The outcome of this resulted in the loss of a girlfriend and the break-up of the band.

As a side note: several years later he and I were, again, close friends playing in a band together when we unexpectedly encountered Debbie. She seemed surprised at our friendship even though this was a good 5-6 years later. We decided that evening that a temporary relationship with a woman was never as rewarding as a good loyal and long-lasting friendship between guys. I haven’t made a pass at, and have even resisted more than a few passes thrown in my direction, any woman already in a relationship with a friend or acquaintance. I love to flirt but that is the extent of my wandering. No sampling! Last I heard Debbie was married to what she called a “horse farmer” and was happy being so. I’m very happy for her. Although it has been many years since I’ve heard anything about her I continue to wish her my very best as she was an important part of my past.

My senior year I was in Varsity Choir where I met Sue. She was a junior to my senior and we had already dated a couple of times when I received my class-ring. We were at a Varsity-Choir-Pool-Party at Dunes Lodge pool when she asked “Ooh! Can I see it?” It was all she said. That was quite enough. Getting it off of her finger was another thing entirely. The next weekend she asked me to go shopping with her. Next thing I knew I was paying for “steady shirts” which were the hot thing for couples at the time. Steady shirts were similarly cut shirts, one cut for the female figure and one for the male, and made from the same patterned material. Oh, we were “cute.” That day I figured out the obvious: We were “going steady.” We never actually discussed this but, if I ever wanted to see my ring again, we were going steady. Sue, being Sue, this was not a necessarily unpleasant turn of events and we went steady for several months thereafter. I understood at the time that Sue was the first girl in our school to take industrial arts: woodshop, printing, metal-shop & drafting. Initially she was restricted from these classes by school authorities until she told the councilor that 1) her dad owned the biggest heating and plumbing business in town, 2) she and her sister would be inheriting the business and 3) the school might reconsider allowing her in the class as her parents were talking about suing for discrimination – about the time this kind of thing was new – and a very real possibility. They gave in. I took Sue to Prom that year which was an event that surprised me in the amount of enjoyment I got from it.

Just a few days before Prom I told my mom I was thinking of not going. After all I had broken up with Sue a month or so before and were only going because I promised her we would still go so I was understandably indifferent to the Prom. Mom advised me that I should go and I should keep my promise. I remember she said, “If you try really hard to show Sue the best possible time you can, you, too, will thoroughly enjoy yourself.” As it turns out she was absolutely correct. Unbeknown to me, for the 2-months before the dance Sue had been taking dance lessons from my mom on the evenings I was a work. She turned out to be a great dancer and we had a wonderful time after all. By the end of the evening I regretted the break-up but this relationship never got back off the ground. I learned a good lesson that evening: acting in a certain manner, or “faking it”, helps you to actually get your mood to that place. After a short time “acting” happy, I found I actually was having a good time and thoroughly enjoying myself. I’ve tried finding an update on Sue with no success…I hope she is doing well.

Soon after leaving school I joined the Navy.

A lot of things changed that first year. A lot of things…

Some of those stories will have to wait.