1961 - Lessons In Physics

Curiosity killed the cat...a bit of foolish overconfidence could have had something to do with it, too.

1961 – Discovering Some of the Laws of Nature

Yep! Did it again!

2-days ago my inquisitive mind got the better of me. Seeing the discarded bottle of Tide sitting on top of the garbage can, right next to the 3-foot high ceramic backyard fountain, I thought, “I wonder if a couple of drops of soap would help clean this scum?” I had been contemplating exchanging the water in the fountain for something fresher but that would mean a slimy-mess to clean before adding new water. Perhaps a couple of drops of soap would help. I had emptied the last of the soap into the new bottle so there couldn’t be more than a few drops left. I grabbed the “empty” bottle and unscrewed the cap.

Ever heard the saying that more people are accidentally shot with “empty” guns than any other kind? Well, this was an “empty” bottle of soap which when turned down delivered a huge dollop of nice blue soap. I’m afraid a four-letter word escaped before I could prevent it. Let’s pretend it was “damn.”

Immediately suds began to fill the fountain like some runaway Laundromat washing machine in a slapstick comedy. They began to spill over the side and I knew there was no way I was going to clean this up before my lovely wife returned home from spending her weekly allotment of thousands-and-thousands of dollars…at Wal-Mart.

I was immediately reminded of the “experiment” I tried at the age of 11 while alone at home. This felt surprisingly like that experience although the “experiments” were not exactly the same. I had been digging around in the kitchen drawers when I came upon mom’s meat thermometer. It was long and filled with red-spirit which was plain to see. The temperature went all the way up to around 600-degrees – wow!

I first measured the temperature of the water in the sink. It got pretty hot but nowhere near the top of the thermometer. I put a pan of water on to boil. As it began bubbling and spitting water over the edge of the little pan, filled way-to-full for boiling water, I stuck the thermometer in but was immediately splashed by hot water. Grabbing a hot pad I moved the water to the sink and inserted the thermometer. Hmmm…212-degrees. Still not very high…I turned back towards the stove to turn off the burner when I wondered, “Just how hot is that fire?” I tentatively inserted the thermometer into the fire. BAM!! The top of the thermometer exploded in a dramatic spewing of hot red-spirit.

Did you know thermometer-spirit is indelible? It is…yep.

I looked up to see various sizes of bright-red spots all over the wall…the refrigerator, the toaster, the few pans hanging on the wall and the stove were similarly decorated. Come-to-think-of-it I probably had a few red-spots on me, too. Looking up I saw a smattering of little red spots all over the ceiling. I cringed and looked away – towards the floor - and the old yellowed linoleum, now freshly decorated with a multitude of little red spots. I got a rag and some cleaner out. They didn’t wipe-off…in fact they didn’t even smear. They looked pretty permanent and mom was due home any minute. There was going to be no getting out of this. That was a good lesson in physics and the power of expanding steam now reminds me of a story which I believe was told years ago by a classmate, Gary Burns, about a back-yard camp-out he had with Jeff Endicott. They, too, had a lesson to learn about the power of steam.

As the story went, after a couple of hours of running through the neighborhood late at night during a backyard camp-out they were worn out from playing and wanted a snack. Jeff snuck into the kitchen and quietly looking through the canned food found a can of pork n’ beans. He proceeded back to the campfire and put the can near the fire. Then he and Gary kicked their shoes off and retired to the tent. They sat inside with a flashlight talking and joking when…BAM!!

Something had exploded right outside the tent! They rolled out in a rush and as soon as their heads broke cover they could see little spots of fire embers spread out for about 10 feet around the fire. Avoiding the glowing spots they jumped out of the tent and immediately began a different kind of jumping in a desperate attempt to get the boiling-hot beans unstuck from the bottoms of their feet where they stuck with unbelievable tenacity. Eventually finding themselves outside the ring of damage they dropped to the ground and scrapped the hot beans from their feet. They sat about 6’ apart and as the urgency of the burning feet faded they noticed that right there halfway between them was what used to be a can of pork n’ beans. It was opened up along the seam and had one lonely bean stuck to the inside otherwise appearing as clean as the day it was manufactured.

They learned about the power of steam that night. I should have listened.

These aren’t the only times I had to learn about the forces of nature like steam…and gravity. This was a lesson I had to learn at least twice. I learned it once from the top of a tall tree in our backyard and again diving between two objects that were farther apart than they looked.

Our tree was a fairly thin but strong tree in which we had built our “tree-houses”, rarely more than a board hammered into place, and where we could survey most of our part of our little village. I had climbed to the very top where the only part of the tree that was higher were little branches that wouldn’t hold me…or would they? I was now higher than our 2-story house which I figure was about 30-40 feet off the ground. As I never had much fear of heights I was willing to attempt to increase my elevation to see the school-yard down the block. Suddenly a branch gave way, not the first time something like this had happened, but this time when I grabbed for a branch to restore my balance and it, too, broke off cleanly. I fell backwards and began plummeting towards the ground. I grabbed at passing branches and twigs as I bounced from limb to limb, sometimes getting a good grip only to have the momentum rip it from my hands and toss me on a new trajectory with new twigs and branches. After plummeting what seemed like a few feet I managed to grab a branch upon which I had fallen full-force full-body. Wrapping my arms and legs around the fairly substantial limb I bounced up and down for a few seconds before I looked towards the ground. I had fallen farther than anticipated. Holding on to the limb with my hands I dropped down so I was hanging on freely. Letting go I dropped the remaining couple of feet to the ground. I had caught the last limb before hitting the hard, hard surface. No problem.

My real lesson on the force of gravity came when I attempted to jump from the chicken-coop in the neighbors’ back-yard and into his cherry-tree. The distance didn’t appear to be too far so I couched in preparation for the jump, ignoring the pile of discarded and broken canning jars immediately below me. The pile of broken glass was over 2-feet high and spread out over a few square feet. I launched myself into the air aiming for the closest and most substantial branch. Missing completely I smacked into a higher branch and fell towards the ground. Landing lightly on my feet I dropped into a slight crouch to take the impact which set me up perfectly for the depressed branch to whip back up and slightly to the left where I stood still recovering from the jump. Pushing me off-balance I fell towards the pile of glass. Seeing the on-coming shards and points I rolled my body to the right towards the edge of the pile. Using my left hand and arm as a lever I thrust it into the edge of the pile and pushed my body away from the shards of blued glass. I grimaced as I landed on my back expecting multiple points of glass to thrust themselves through my clothing and into my back. Nothing! No pain! Alright! I jumped to my feet and felt something warm running down my hand. Lifting my left arm to look I was squirted in the eye with warm spurting blood coming from a wound in my wrist. I ran through the hedge that separated the two houses and headed into the kitchen…and mom.

Despite initial excitement and panic which lasted about 5 seconds mom grabbed a dish towel and held it tightly to my wrist. It immediately filled with red blood and began dripping on the floor. Grabbing a second towel she threw the first into the sink and wrapped the second around my wrist telling me to hold it tightly. “No! Tight! Try to make your arm numb. Don’t let ANY blood through!” She ran to the telephone and called the Winthrop Harbor Police Department. They showed up within a very few minutes and I was carried by the officer into his patrol car.

I remember the trip very well from my vantage lying on the back seat as we sped towards the Zion hospital, siren screaming and weaving in and out of traffic. I started to sit up for a better view of our ride but immediately got dizzy and fell back onto my back. Eventually we arrived at the hospital and I guess they took care of me because I’m still here and I have a nice scar on my wrist from the event but I have no memory at all of the hospital.

I’d like to say I’ve learned my lessons and my problems with the laws of physics had cured my reckless streak but they, evidently, didn’t completely take.

If they had…I might not have a fountain to clean.