1976 - Denny

1976 – Denny

The first time I met Denny we hit it off. Denny had brought Chris to our house with him to visit my roommate, Wayne, whom I also knew as Colombo. Denny and Wayne had been high-school classmates and Denny was the cool kid as he owned his own house and welcomed his friends over anytime. As his marriage to Barbara had broken up he was pretty much free to party as he desired but he kept this to a personal minimum while enjoying the company of all who entered his home. As he was raising Chris with a minimum of help from Barb he was always aware of this responsibility even if his methods were not necessarily traditional.

The day we met Chris was bored as we had very little to play with that would interest an almost-2-year-old boy but he soon discovered a light switch that he could reach and entertained by the clicking. As the light was to the front door and it was daytime Chris didn’t notice the effect of the switch on the light but the noise alone was, evidently, more than enough to keep him involved. As he was entertaining himself Denny and I talked about interests and histories. We soon discovered a similar fascination with Science-Fiction (in those days “sci-fi” was a throwaway term used by non-fans) and writing in general. We discussed Kurt Vonnegut and Jack Vance as well as Isaac Asimov and Ray Bradbury. We were evidently fairly excited about our new found friendship because before he left Denny turned to me, shook my hand and said, “I really enjoyed myself. It was very nice to meet you.” I responded in kind with, “Yes, me too. I really enjoyed this. You are certainly welcome to stop by any time, with or without Colombo.”

The second time I met Denny was about a week later when he returned to visit Wayne who was not home at the time. Denny and I sat and talked for hours until the early evening sun was going down. Conversations as satisfying as the one that day and many of the conversations Denny and I have had since that day have rarely been as satisfying. As a bonus I also got to witness an amazing learning experience that day: As soon as Denny and Chris arrived Chris found the light switch and played “noise-maker” until he got bored and started playing with the only toys we did have which were a set of plastic panels that could be made into blocks or geometric shapes. As the day wore on and it got increasingly darker Chris’ interest would change from one area to another always eventually getting back to that light switch.

As dusk set-in Chris again became bored with whatever he was entertaining himself with and headed for the door and light switch. *Click* *Click* *ClickClickClick* *ClickityClick* *ClickityClickityClick* …pause… *Click* …pause… *Click* …a glance at the window… *Click* …another glance at the window… *Click* …his little brow furrowed and he took a single step toward the window which was about a foot wide but extended from the top of the door jamb to about a foot from the floor…he looked outside…one step back to the switch… *Click* …another step to the now darkened window…hand remaining on the switch… *Click* …a look of amazement crossed Chris’ face… *Click* …another look of amazement… *Click* *Click* *Click* …a look of absolute joy at his discovery… *Click* *Click* *Click* *ClickClickClick* *ClickityClick* *ClickityClickityClick* Chris looked back at me as I watched, a big smile plastered across his face. He ran to his dad and tugged him to his feet dragging him by force of will to the light switch which he demonstrated with boundless joy. He looked back at me flicking the switch off and on, each time pointing to the window and making happy sounds. After demonstrating his new-found discovery to his dad he ran over to me and grabbed my hand pulling me over to stand with his dad while he continued to demonstrate the light switch as though to say, “Look at what this can do! Isn’t this amazing! Are you as excited as me?”

This time when Denny left I distinctly remember telling him, “I’ve had such a good time, again. You know I think you could easily become my best friend.” Denny replied, “I feel the same way. I’ll definitely be back.” We shook hands and looked at each other and nodded to ourselves, both of us nodding heads slightly and smiling at each other. That day Denny became my best friend and has been ever since. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of him several times noting to myself when I see or experience something I think he would enjoy. This continues although he passed away recently.

Speaking to a mutual friend, Wayne, not long after Denny’s passing he said “Denny was like the touchstone for so many of us. He was the one that was always there. Someone we could always depend upon to be an honest and accepting friend. He was the one that so many of us had in common.” Wayne admitted that, even though it had been a couple of years since he’d seen Denny their relationship was typical of Denny, whom one would still know as a close friend despite any separation by time or space. His friends may have been separated by years and circumstances but all I have spoken to, without exception, echoed many of these sentiments.

Many, many years ago for a short time I lived with his ex-wife, Barbara, I was cautious about how he might feel about this and, in consideration for his feelings and, honestly, to avoid possible conflict, I tried to keep the fact away from him. Evidently he knew within a couple of days but didn’t let on…in consideration for my feelings and to avoid any conflict! According to him he loved us both and didn’t see a need to cause trouble where none was needed.

Denny was an artist or, rather, a cartoonist on occasion. Something I always believed he should have done more of. His Rob & Ron comics were well drawn in his own unique style and they were always funny (although neither Ron, his brother, nor Rob, a close friend, may have supported this opinion.) Denny met much of life with an artist’s outlook when it came to media including books, movies, etc. showing intellectual interest in the finer points of movie-making and publishing. He remained open to most advancement in technology and science welcoming the future with open eyes and optimism while somehow maintaining a skeptic’s attitude on the realistic predictions of technology and its uses.

He was a lover of animals – cats in particular – and Tigger was his cat. Tigger always had the run of the house but cats, in general, eventually became a problem. One evening after cleaning the cat-box for the newest kittens and putting food out for Tigger and the other 2 cat-visitors left behind by girlfriends he stepped out the back door to get a breath of fresh air. In front of him less than 10-feet away was a coyote with a kitten in its mouth. Now, Denny understood the ways of wildlife and had long suspected this had been the fate of kittens which would be born and slowly disappear over a period of weeks until he only had 1 or 2 left which were relatively easy to get rid of or care for. But seeing the apparent demise of one of the kittens he had cared for and with which he had just recently played was simply too much. That evening all of the cats became indoor cats – with all the problems attendant with this situation…cats no longer disappeared over a couple of months and getting rid of several was always more difficult than getting rid of 1 or 2. Eventually the cats got out-of-hand and took possession of the entire house except for the 2 back rooms which he kept clear of cats as his only sanctuary. My last count had been 27 cats – I suspect there may have been more as I could no longer enter the house due to the cat problem and accompanying smells, etc. The home that may have often been cluttered but never dirty began to go downhill and, having left his lifelong profession of elevator repair and maintenance, no longer had the finances to maintain the home in the manner he desired. Depression had him in its grip for the last few years although I’m not sure he saw his attitude as such. Frustration with his degrading finances and frustration at himself for so easily accepting this change ate at him constantly. I could see this happening in real-time and spoke to Denny about depression but he would not admit to this…he just didn’t want to work or socialize anymore. He felt this was a natural progression of life and he was withdrawing as normal. Personally I didn’t see this as normal but tried to be there for him. He rarely mentioned his problems or let on to anyone else. Denny, pretty much, kept his own council.

Denny was vitally interested in aircraft of all types, astronomy, science & technology, science-fiction, fantasy, mysteries and non-fiction. Unfortunately, Denny was not interested in personal health having a somewhat fatalistic attitude regarding health, life and living. As his finances got worse so went his health. The cats always got fed…I often wondered if he faired as well in caring for his own personal needs.

Denny began having physical problems a few years ago with his feet and legs. I was sure he was diabetic but no one was able to convince him he needed to see a doctor. He didn’t want to hear the news and he felt doctors were just trying to grub money from the misfortune of others. I believe he could see his future with the attendant problems including loss of extremities due to complications from diabetes. He preferred to live in personal ignorance regarding his own health…often have I wished it was different but we all live our own lives with our own priorities, joys and fears.

Personally, I loved Denny like a brother. He was loyal and honest. He gave me support when I needed it and kicked me in the ass when it was required. The only time we had an argument…was…well, I don’t believe we ever had cross words – or none I can recall.

There could be so much more to write but I must stop somewhere.

I really miss him.

The Best Friend Anyone Could Have: Dennis Stahl – April 6, 1951, Denver, CO – May 15, 2008, 7:10 AM, San Diego, CA